There are days when I wish I'd grown up in the era of Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Ingrid Bergman, etc. Now don't get me wrong, I appreciate the advancements we've made politically, etc since the 40's and 50's; however back then people knew how to speak and men knew how to treat women.
Recently I joined a dating site because well quite frankly life gets kind of lonely and I can be a shy person (shocking I know) so sometimes speaking over the internet is easier for me. Now that being said I can honestly say that we as a society have become dumber and dumber. Just going by some of the screennames that these people come up with? Pdidey? The1foru? Thickgallover? I mean really you couldn't come up with something halfway decent? Oh and sending someone a message that simply reads mmmmmmmmm does not make them want to contact you. Sadly though it's not just on the internet I've heard "Hey baby what's yo numba?" in person as well. Along with "mmmmm......I like my women thick" to which my sister kindly replied "Too bad I don't like my men stupid".
Unfortunately it's not just with guys either; a friend told me that recently she saw some guys use similar lines on her sister and sister in law and they giggled away and flirted back. Now often I've been told I give off the bitch vibe to guys and that's why men find me unapproachable. However for me it's more of a I'm not gonna fall for every man that says hi to me - you need to work for it a little bit. Why? Because I'm worth working for damn it. Which brings me to my other point; why is it that to guys fat=desperate? Because I'm heavy I must not be getting any action? I must be so full of low self esteem that I'll just latch onto anyone? Sorry to disappoint you but that's simply not true with this gal. Also, why is it perfectly acceptable for a thin woman to date an overweight man, but taboo for a thin man to date an overweight woman? Just the same way as it's ok for Hugh Hefner to date women 50 years younger than him, but if say Debbie Reynolds tried the same thing she'd be seen as a cougar or a cradle robber whereas Hugh is seen as a god for it. What people fail to stop and think is that I've found more women pay less attention to looks and age than men do. We look for things like - does he love his family? How does he treat his kids? Is he ambitious? Not damn he looks really hot in those 501s.
Now I'm not saying that physical attraction has nothing to do with finding a mate. Or that all men are shallow and all women are not. These are simply things I've observed and how I am in my life. I'm a very open person - most people have a "type" that they go for i.e. tall dark and handsome, blonde, brunette, etc. However through simply looking at the men I find attractive; my spectrum covers a wide range of "types". I'll give you a few examples of actors/entertainers I find attractive:Keanu Reeves, Shemar Moore, Justin Timberlake, Kevin James, Randy Travis, and current Mayor of Chicago Rahm Emmanuel. Now if you know any or all of these men you know none of the two are alike.
I guess what bothers me the most is the fact that noone tries anymore. Men think that all they have to do is ask for a girl's number and she'll sleep with him or a woman thinks that all she has to do is bat her eyelashes and a man should sleep with her or buy her whatever she wants. Lord help you if you're not sleeping together within the first month. I mean whatever happened to saying Hi how are you? Or bringing a woman flowers and expecting nothing in return? Or asking him how his day was? Holding hands? Call me old fashioned but these are the things that I look for. Right now I'm feeling defeated but I have to hold onto these ideals and think that there is someone out there that feels the same way I do.
So the next time you go to talk to someone - whether you're hitting on them or not why don't you just start with hello?
