Ok so here we are almost one month into the whole let's get serious and get healthy thing started and I must admit I'm still doin it! Now do I want to get up everyday and do it? There are some days (like those once a month visits for us ladies) that I want to shoot the next person who mentions working out. However I've also learned that I am LOVING the energy that working out gives me and really the peace of mind it gives me. There were a couple days when I simply could not get a workout in and you know what? I actually missed it! No that's not a typo I said I missed it. It makes me feel centered and gives me a sense of accomplishment. Also because I have "outted" myself so to speak to all of you I feel a sense of obligation to keep going - of course your words of encouragement are always motivation to keep going.
Believe it or not I actually started a zumba class yesterday - I sweated my ass off, but I did not die! WOOHOO! I also am walking along with doing the Just Dance for wii - I am actually now able to walk 2 miles with almost no problem. This activity is what I find the most stress relieving - I stick my earbuds in, put some good music on and just start walking. My mind clears and I just listen to the music - lately it's been a lot of Christian Kane that keeps me company as I walk. What I like about his music is that it's real - meaning he has written many of his own songs and they talk about everyday things. Thrown in the mix with the country is come good ol' rockin roll - check him out on youtube when you can. Anyway - back to me lol I just walk and think and by the time I realize it 45 minutes have gone by and the endorphins are flowing. So despite what the scale may say tomorrow ( I was down 5.5lbs last week) I know that I am on my way to being a healthier me. Thank you all for accompanying me on this journey!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Here We Go Again
Ok so Paula Deen has diabetes - WHO CARES? I know I've talked repeatedly about how we need to take responsibility for ourselves, but this week just really irked me. This woman has said time and time again that I'm your cook not your dr not your nurse. Yes her meals are high in fat, cholesterol, and all the things that usually make food good; but is she standing over you threatening you if you don't eat it? NO
There are a lot of things I can blame my fat on - my ex is a douche, my mom had cancer, my son has learning disabilities. However noone was holding a gun to my head as I shoved cheeseburger after cheeseburger in my mouth. I'm fat because I've used food as a coping mechanism - I did that; noone else.
Yes we all need to learn that we need to eat in moderation - but it's our responsibility to do that, not a television cook's job. She obviously needs to learn that and I hope that she is able to get herself healthier because diabetes sucks. Now knock on wood, I am not a diabetic and don't intend to become one, however I have a lot of ppl in my life that are and I know that it sucks for them. So Anthony Bourdain and all you other nay sayers BACK OFF! While she may not be the picture of perfection when it comes to health, she is an example to single moms like me - she made a herself a success out of nothing while raising two kids. She's also human being who's going to have a tough road ahead of her; she not only has diabetes but is also trying to quit smoking. Now I'm not saying that she's perfect, etc but I'm so SICK of people blaming others for what is THEIR responisbility. Maybe I should look into suing McDonalds for making me fat - I could use the money!
There are a lot of things I can blame my fat on - my ex is a douche, my mom had cancer, my son has learning disabilities. However noone was holding a gun to my head as I shoved cheeseburger after cheeseburger in my mouth. I'm fat because I've used food as a coping mechanism - I did that; noone else.
Yes we all need to learn that we need to eat in moderation - but it's our responsibility to do that, not a television cook's job. She obviously needs to learn that and I hope that she is able to get herself healthier because diabetes sucks. Now knock on wood, I am not a diabetic and don't intend to become one, however I have a lot of ppl in my life that are and I know that it sucks for them. So Anthony Bourdain and all you other nay sayers BACK OFF! While she may not be the picture of perfection when it comes to health, she is an example to single moms like me - she made a herself a success out of nothing while raising two kids. She's also human being who's going to have a tough road ahead of her; she not only has diabetes but is also trying to quit smoking. Now I'm not saying that she's perfect, etc but I'm so SICK of people blaming others for what is THEIR responisbility. Maybe I should look into suing McDonalds for making me fat - I could use the money!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Finding the right one for you
Sitting in the drs office the other day I was nervous as hell - I have ALWAYS hated going to the dr; 90% of the time because I know the dr is going to say well you need to lose some weight. Really as I hadn't thought of that as I ended up winded just tying my shoes LOL However this time after switching and switching I think I finally hit the jackpot with drs. Now that's not to say that she didn't address my weight but she wasn't condescending about it either. I think what I liked the most though is how much time she spent with me; first I saw her med student who spent a good half hour with me. At first I thought she was merely trying to cover her ass, but really I think this woman is going to make a great dr some day. I was at the dr not only for my blood pressure, but I had also wanted to talk to her about anti depressants/anti anxiety meds as I've had a lot going on in my life as of late plus out of all the things I could have inherited from him I inherited my dad's panic attacks (thanks dad!) and this is not just oh shit type of stress; this is I took myself to the ER once because I thought I was having a heart attack stress. Anyway I digress; as I sat there and started to tell my story and it became real and verbalized I began to cry and of course was terribly embarrassed. However this intern looked at me and said this is not uncommon - you've had ALOT of stressors in your life lately. She didn't look at me like any minute I was going to slit my wrists like I once had another dr look at me.
Next came my dr who went over everything with the med student and told me to let her know if she'd missed anything. Then they took everything point by point and set up a plan for me - I finally had a health plan! When I mentioned that I had put on about 10lbs since I'd been there last she was like "eh we'll blame in on the holidays" now that's not to say she wasn't concerned but she knows that weight is an issue that everyone struggles with. We went over what my exercise regiment was and told me so long as I worked out 30 minutes, 5 days a week that was good. I was relieved; this is something I could do - hell it was one half hour sitcom! We went over some of my other ailments and what I was to do about those and then because my bloodpressure is not quite where she wants it (though it was better than last time) we went over possible causes. My biggest fear was that she was going to up the meds, which I didn't want because I'm already on a host of meds. However she told me she was going to keep me on the same dose and so long as I kept up my diet and exercise that we'd take it from there. She asked if there was any questions I had about anything and that was that. I left there more elated than I have in a very long time of going to the dr. Now I have a friend that went to the dr recently and didn't have quite the same experience but at the end of the day it was something that worked for her - at least for now. I guess my point here is that in order to succeed with your health not only do you have to take an active role in your own medical conditions ( I had a lot of my own info that she was impressed with) but find a dr that works for YOU because if you're not comfortable talking with your own dr then it makes the road to health/weightloss that much more difficult and we all know that that road is already filled with potholes and road closures that we have to try and avoid. Take your time to do some research and don't be afraid to ask questions - afterall they work for YOU; consider yourselves their boss and if they're not doing their job - fire them and find a new one!
Next came my dr who went over everything with the med student and told me to let her know if she'd missed anything. Then they took everything point by point and set up a plan for me - I finally had a health plan! When I mentioned that I had put on about 10lbs since I'd been there last she was like "eh we'll blame in on the holidays" now that's not to say she wasn't concerned but she knows that weight is an issue that everyone struggles with. We went over what my exercise regiment was and told me so long as I worked out 30 minutes, 5 days a week that was good. I was relieved; this is something I could do - hell it was one half hour sitcom! We went over some of my other ailments and what I was to do about those and then because my bloodpressure is not quite where she wants it (though it was better than last time) we went over possible causes. My biggest fear was that she was going to up the meds, which I didn't want because I'm already on a host of meds. However she told me she was going to keep me on the same dose and so long as I kept up my diet and exercise that we'd take it from there. She asked if there was any questions I had about anything and that was that. I left there more elated than I have in a very long time of going to the dr. Now I have a friend that went to the dr recently and didn't have quite the same experience but at the end of the day it was something that worked for her - at least for now. I guess my point here is that in order to succeed with your health not only do you have to take an active role in your own medical conditions ( I had a lot of my own info that she was impressed with) but find a dr that works for YOU because if you're not comfortable talking with your own dr then it makes the road to health/weightloss that much more difficult and we all know that that road is already filled with potholes and road closures that we have to try and avoid. Take your time to do some research and don't be afraid to ask questions - afterall they work for YOU; consider yourselves their boss and if they're not doing their job - fire them and find a new one!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Not a Resolution
Well I started this blog with the intentions of blogging everyday, but alas that has not happened. However I think averaging once a month is pretty good;anywho time to get on with it.
I hope that all of you had a wonderful holiday season, mine was good if a bit normal - then again normal can be good. Now that the holidays are over, how many of you have made a New Year's Resolution? Most of us make them and don't keep them - hell if I'd kept half of mine I'd be a size 2 and living in a small town, running a bakery! So this year I've decided not to make a resolution, rather I've decided to make my life over. That doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the life that I have, just that I need to learn to live it differently. Now when I was growing up different usually meant bad; example:"Mom, how does this shirt look?" "Well it's.........different" but for me different is going to be a good thing! It means losing not just the weight that's been plaguing me my whole life, but letting all the anger and all the negativity in my life go as well. It means living my life for ME not for anyone else; taking care of ME because if I can't take care of myself - I'm of no use to anyone else.
So far I've started with working out - which right now consists of playing the wii; that's right the anti video gamer is using it to get healthy. My favorite is doing Taio Cruz's Dynamite with my son because we both love the song, and then there's the frisbee golf, which I hate but play because again my son loves it. I've also began changing my eating habits - I've (for the most part) given up iced tea, which for those of you that know me know that that is a feat in itself because iced tea was very addictive for me. I also managed to put back mint Oreos - another small, but amazing act because I both love them and they were cheap. The biggest however was when I went to Wendy's (Yeah I haven't given up fast food YET) and I did NOT order a frosty; this was HUGE for me because I love it with all it's chocolatey goodness BUT I decided I did not NEED it. Did I want it? I don't know does a monkey want a banana? HELL YEAH I wanted it but again victory reigned supreme!
I think the thing that's made this year different is that I've watched a friend have much success, not only in losing weight, but shedding the layers of crap and discovering who she really is. The two of us were two of a kind - so much so that ppl at work used to think we were sisters; we were the two fat chicks - and for a long time we were ok with it. Then both of us decided that we really needed to lose weight, but that there was nothing out there for chicks like us. Over tired moms with kids with disabilities who at the end of the day just wanted to take some comfort in some delicious confections. So we decided we should start something ourselves - I started this blog to help with some of the stress and she took the proverbial bull by the horns and ran with it. She has an amazing website and blog http://livingdaily.weebly.com/ where she encourages people everyday and lets them know that they CAN do it. Yes some of her positivity makes me want to shove it down her throat, but at the end of the day I know she's right. Through her journey she's shed more than 80lbs and even more - discovered more of who she is. More importantly she once told me something that is a constant reminder to me "You can't fail unless you stop trying" so if I have that frosty or minty oreo I don't go "Oh well I give up I'll always be fat" I just think "Well tomorrow is another day for me to do better". She's also told me in not so many words "I didn't say it was going to be easy; I said it'd be worth it". To you Katy I say a huge THANK YOU!
Now I'm about to share with something I've never shared with ANYONE - except my Dr. I'm nervous, but I know it will help me stay focused and it will help me shed some of the crap I've been holding onto. I am about to share my weight with you and the rest of the world; a year ago I hit the scale at 360lbs. Since then I've lost some weight and last I checked(which has been awhile) I was at 330/335. These are numbers I NEVER want to see again, but I'm doing it a little at a time. Right now the goal is to wake up tomorrow and move. The long term goal is to one day be able to do a 5K run or something to that effect.
I guess my message here is live life for YOU; and I don't mean go out and be a selfish prick but make sure that the decisions you make in your life are about what YOU want and what's good for YOU. Don't make decisions based on anything anyone else does or says. You can succeed if only you give yourself the chance to.
I hope that all of you had a wonderful holiday season, mine was good if a bit normal - then again normal can be good. Now that the holidays are over, how many of you have made a New Year's Resolution? Most of us make them and don't keep them - hell if I'd kept half of mine I'd be a size 2 and living in a small town, running a bakery! So this year I've decided not to make a resolution, rather I've decided to make my life over. That doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the life that I have, just that I need to learn to live it differently. Now when I was growing up different usually meant bad; example:"Mom, how does this shirt look?" "Well it's.........different" but for me different is going to be a good thing! It means losing not just the weight that's been plaguing me my whole life, but letting all the anger and all the negativity in my life go as well. It means living my life for ME not for anyone else; taking care of ME because if I can't take care of myself - I'm of no use to anyone else.
So far I've started with working out - which right now consists of playing the wii; that's right the anti video gamer is using it to get healthy. My favorite is doing Taio Cruz's Dynamite with my son because we both love the song, and then there's the frisbee golf, which I hate but play because again my son loves it. I've also began changing my eating habits - I've (for the most part) given up iced tea, which for those of you that know me know that that is a feat in itself because iced tea was very addictive for me. I also managed to put back mint Oreos - another small, but amazing act because I both love them and they were cheap. The biggest however was when I went to Wendy's (Yeah I haven't given up fast food YET) and I did NOT order a frosty; this was HUGE for me because I love it with all it's chocolatey goodness BUT I decided I did not NEED it. Did I want it? I don't know does a monkey want a banana? HELL YEAH I wanted it but again victory reigned supreme!
I think the thing that's made this year different is that I've watched a friend have much success, not only in losing weight, but shedding the layers of crap and discovering who she really is. The two of us were two of a kind - so much so that ppl at work used to think we were sisters; we were the two fat chicks - and for a long time we were ok with it. Then both of us decided that we really needed to lose weight, but that there was nothing out there for chicks like us. Over tired moms with kids with disabilities who at the end of the day just wanted to take some comfort in some delicious confections. So we decided we should start something ourselves - I started this blog to help with some of the stress and she took the proverbial bull by the horns and ran with it. She has an amazing website and blog http://livingdaily.weebly.com/ where she encourages people everyday and lets them know that they CAN do it. Yes some of her positivity makes me want to shove it down her throat, but at the end of the day I know she's right. Through her journey she's shed more than 80lbs and even more - discovered more of who she is. More importantly she once told me something that is a constant reminder to me "You can't fail unless you stop trying" so if I have that frosty or minty oreo I don't go "Oh well I give up I'll always be fat" I just think "Well tomorrow is another day for me to do better". She's also told me in not so many words "I didn't say it was going to be easy; I said it'd be worth it". To you Katy I say a huge THANK YOU!
Now I'm about to share with something I've never shared with ANYONE - except my Dr. I'm nervous, but I know it will help me stay focused and it will help me shed some of the crap I've been holding onto. I am about to share my weight with you and the rest of the world; a year ago I hit the scale at 360lbs. Since then I've lost some weight and last I checked(which has been awhile) I was at 330/335. These are numbers I NEVER want to see again, but I'm doing it a little at a time. Right now the goal is to wake up tomorrow and move. The long term goal is to one day be able to do a 5K run or something to that effect.
I guess my message here is live life for YOU; and I don't mean go out and be a selfish prick but make sure that the decisions you make in your life are about what YOU want and what's good for YOU. Don't make decisions based on anything anyone else does or says. You can succeed if only you give yourself the chance to.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Day of Thanks
I realize that it's been quite awhile since I last stepped into the world of blogging. I've been going through some personal issues and I will admit it, feeling sorry for myself. There have been times that I think there is noone that has problems worse than I do, or I think I really don't give a crap how well someone else is doing. To those people who I've thought that I about - you have my sincerist apologies; the fact of the matter is that I was jealous of those people. Jealous of the fact that they were doing so well and here I was one bad thing after another kept happening to me. Why me? I'd ask myself - when is it MY turn?
Luckily over the last week or so I've come to realize that I really need to get over myself. I love to watch the show Dancing With The Stars, but this season really affected me because of JR Martinez. Many of you know that he is an Iraq War vet who was burned over 50% of his body. Well he recovered and became an actor, motivational speaker and now DWTS champion. Sometimes I stop and think about him or the children at St Jude Children's Research Hospital and think OMG I am being SO petty! So I've had to deal with some medical issues - at least they didn't entail being burned over half my body or God forbid having to fight cancer.
My son said something to me tonight that REALLY pushed everything home for me. I was mixing dough with my new (to me) stand mixer that someone generously gave me and he said "Wow mom you have a really great life", it caught me off guard and I half laughed and said "Oh really what makes you say that?" his response? "Well you have this new mixer, you're a great baker, a good cook, and you have love" in that moment I realized that he was right. Do I wish I had more money so I didn't have to worry about bills? YES - who doesn't? Do I wish I had a perfect marriage to a great guy - sometimes. Do I wish that my house wasn't falling down around my ears? Of course Do I wish I could fit into a size 10? HELL YEAH. There are times I wish all these things, but in that instant I realized that I do have a pretty great life. I have people who love me, a roof over my head, food (sometimes too much) to eat, and clothes on my back. So this Thanksgiving I am going to be grateful for the life I have today - because there are people who aren't so lucky.
Luckily over the last week or so I've come to realize that I really need to get over myself. I love to watch the show Dancing With The Stars, but this season really affected me because of JR Martinez. Many of you know that he is an Iraq War vet who was burned over 50% of his body. Well he recovered and became an actor, motivational speaker and now DWTS champion. Sometimes I stop and think about him or the children at St Jude Children's Research Hospital and think OMG I am being SO petty! So I've had to deal with some medical issues - at least they didn't entail being burned over half my body or God forbid having to fight cancer.
My son said something to me tonight that REALLY pushed everything home for me. I was mixing dough with my new (to me) stand mixer that someone generously gave me and he said "Wow mom you have a really great life", it caught me off guard and I half laughed and said "Oh really what makes you say that?" his response? "Well you have this new mixer, you're a great baker, a good cook, and you have love" in that moment I realized that he was right. Do I wish I had more money so I didn't have to worry about bills? YES - who doesn't? Do I wish I had a perfect marriage to a great guy - sometimes. Do I wish that my house wasn't falling down around my ears? Of course Do I wish I could fit into a size 10? HELL YEAH. There are times I wish all these things, but in that instant I realized that I do have a pretty great life. I have people who love me, a roof over my head, food (sometimes too much) to eat, and clothes on my back. So this Thanksgiving I am going to be grateful for the life I have today - because there are people who aren't so lucky.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Ten Years Later
Growing up I always listened to my mom talk about how she'd always remember where she was and what she was doing when JFK was assassinated; back then I never realized why it was so significant for her, that is until September 11, 2001.
I was 6 months pregnant with my son and for whatever reason I had decided not to watch the news; even though that's what I usually did as I was getting ready for work. Only having one car at the time and working in opposite directions I had relied on my mom for a ride to work that day. When she picked me up she said a plane hit one of the World Trade Center towers in NYC they think it's terrorists and they don't know how they're going to get to the people in the floors above. I will admit, at that time I really had only a vague idea of what the World Trade Center was but still thought OMG how awful. Little did I know how awful it would get. I remember getting to work, which was only a 20-30 minute drive and telling my co worker at the time what my mom had just told me. She looked at me and said you haven't heard? The towers fell, one plane hit the Pentagon and there's another missing. By this time I was scared shitless as I relayed to my mom (who had stopped back in after going to the grocery store next door) and I remember telling her that the US was basically under attack. My boss had the radio on the whole day so that we could get up to the min info; and I remember trying to cover my fear with humor which fell flat. By this time they were evacuating any buildings over a certain story which included the nearby college and all I could think about at the time was OMG all my siblings work downtown. At that time the country had no idea if this was it or if there were other targets (living in Chicago we were assuming that we were a possibility).
In the days that followed I got the true impact of what had happened. Watching all the news coverage I was both horrified and proud. Horrified at the tragedy that had happened and proud of the unity that our country had formed. You constantly were hearing about people banning together to get people out, to help one another. None more powerful than the people that banneded together on flight 93 who refused to let their plane take out what has been assumed to be the White House. It wasn't only the US either - I remember hearing a story of a Canadian town where the townspeople took in US citizens whose flight had been grounded that day. People from around the world were uniting together. Watching news coverage day after day there was always a new story, someone else giving their reaction. For me there was none more powerful than the reaction of what looked to be about a 12 year old boy who was literally shaking with anger and said "They hit the Pentagon; they hit the nerve center of our military" in a how DARE they voice. I also remember hearing about the President's reaction; now say what you will about George W Bush - Lord knows I'm a Democrat but I will ALWAYS respect that man for that day. He was reading to a room full of Florida second graders when he was informed that the US was under attack - how does one react and NOT scare those children? Well he figured it out because he did it with grace and finesse.
I will admit after that first month, the events of that day moved to the back of my mind - not because I wanted to forget, but because my own life was falling apart. I was having my first child and in those next 8 months my son would be born, my father would pass away, and my relationship with my fiance would come to an end. However the day was never completely forgotten, and since then I often think about that day and even have a People magazine that I kept that I sometimes look at. I never want to forget the day that I saw the worst and the best in people. Now ten years later I think about how NYC has recovered and is moving forward - the video coverage of the new reflecting pool memorials is absolutely stunning. I hope one day to bring my son there to see that, the lonely field in Shanksville, PA, and as close to the Pentagon as they'll allow. If it's anything like the time I saw the traveling Vietnam Wall I will be a sobbing mess. I don't know what it was but when you're in the presence of it you can almost feel the souls of the names on that wall.
This day will forever remain in our hearts and memories - a day when we were truly one nation. Unfortunately it took this tragedy for us to unite, and now ten years later I feel like that unity has wained. We no longer give a shit about the person next to us on the train, we still view Muslims as the bad guys because yes a dozen people speak for an entire nation. We forget about the soldiers who are still overseas fighting for our daily freedoms - that is until we heard they finally killed Osama Bin Ladin and after that it was five minutes of elation and then back to the hum drum of daily life. If anyone takes away anything from this, let it be to live life to the fullest and have tolerance hell CARE about each other - even if it's something as simple as letting the person who has one thing go ahead of you at the grocery store because as I just heard a 9/11 survivor say "As long as there's not a plane coming into this building you're having a good day"
I was 6 months pregnant with my son and for whatever reason I had decided not to watch the news; even though that's what I usually did as I was getting ready for work. Only having one car at the time and working in opposite directions I had relied on my mom for a ride to work that day. When she picked me up she said a plane hit one of the World Trade Center towers in NYC they think it's terrorists and they don't know how they're going to get to the people in the floors above. I will admit, at that time I really had only a vague idea of what the World Trade Center was but still thought OMG how awful. Little did I know how awful it would get. I remember getting to work, which was only a 20-30 minute drive and telling my co worker at the time what my mom had just told me. She looked at me and said you haven't heard? The towers fell, one plane hit the Pentagon and there's another missing. By this time I was scared shitless as I relayed to my mom (who had stopped back in after going to the grocery store next door) and I remember telling her that the US was basically under attack. My boss had the radio on the whole day so that we could get up to the min info; and I remember trying to cover my fear with humor which fell flat. By this time they were evacuating any buildings over a certain story which included the nearby college and all I could think about at the time was OMG all my siblings work downtown. At that time the country had no idea if this was it or if there were other targets (living in Chicago we were assuming that we were a possibility).
In the days that followed I got the true impact of what had happened. Watching all the news coverage I was both horrified and proud. Horrified at the tragedy that had happened and proud of the unity that our country had formed. You constantly were hearing about people banning together to get people out, to help one another. None more powerful than the people that banneded together on flight 93 who refused to let their plane take out what has been assumed to be the White House. It wasn't only the US either - I remember hearing a story of a Canadian town where the townspeople took in US citizens whose flight had been grounded that day. People from around the world were uniting together. Watching news coverage day after day there was always a new story, someone else giving their reaction. For me there was none more powerful than the reaction of what looked to be about a 12 year old boy who was literally shaking with anger and said "They hit the Pentagon; they hit the nerve center of our military" in a how DARE they voice. I also remember hearing about the President's reaction; now say what you will about George W Bush - Lord knows I'm a Democrat but I will ALWAYS respect that man for that day. He was reading to a room full of Florida second graders when he was informed that the US was under attack - how does one react and NOT scare those children? Well he figured it out because he did it with grace and finesse.
I will admit after that first month, the events of that day moved to the back of my mind - not because I wanted to forget, but because my own life was falling apart. I was having my first child and in those next 8 months my son would be born, my father would pass away, and my relationship with my fiance would come to an end. However the day was never completely forgotten, and since then I often think about that day and even have a People magazine that I kept that I sometimes look at. I never want to forget the day that I saw the worst and the best in people. Now ten years later I think about how NYC has recovered and is moving forward - the video coverage of the new reflecting pool memorials is absolutely stunning. I hope one day to bring my son there to see that, the lonely field in Shanksville, PA, and as close to the Pentagon as they'll allow. If it's anything like the time I saw the traveling Vietnam Wall I will be a sobbing mess. I don't know what it was but when you're in the presence of it you can almost feel the souls of the names on that wall.
This day will forever remain in our hearts and memories - a day when we were truly one nation. Unfortunately it took this tragedy for us to unite, and now ten years later I feel like that unity has wained. We no longer give a shit about the person next to us on the train, we still view Muslims as the bad guys because yes a dozen people speak for an entire nation. We forget about the soldiers who are still overseas fighting for our daily freedoms - that is until we heard they finally killed Osama Bin Ladin and after that it was five minutes of elation and then back to the hum drum of daily life. If anyone takes away anything from this, let it be to live life to the fullest and have tolerance hell CARE about each other - even if it's something as simple as letting the person who has one thing go ahead of you at the grocery store because as I just heard a 9/11 survivor say "As long as there's not a plane coming into this building you're having a good day"
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Call Me Old Fashioned
There are days when I wish I'd grown up in the era of Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Ingrid Bergman, etc. Now don't get me wrong, I appreciate the advancements we've made politically, etc since the 40's and 50's; however back then people knew how to speak and men knew how to treat women.
Recently I joined a dating site because well quite frankly life gets kind of lonely and I can be a shy person (shocking I know) so sometimes speaking over the internet is easier for me. Now that being said I can honestly say that we as a society have become dumber and dumber. Just going by some of the screennames that these people come up with? Pdidey? The1foru? Thickgallover? I mean really you couldn't come up with something halfway decent? Oh and sending someone a message that simply reads mmmmmmmmm does not make them want to contact you. Sadly though it's not just on the internet I've heard "Hey baby what's yo numba?" in person as well. Along with "mmmmm......I like my women thick" to which my sister kindly replied "Too bad I don't like my men stupid".
Unfortunately it's not just with guys either; a friend told me that recently she saw some guys use similar lines on her sister and sister in law and they giggled away and flirted back. Now often I've been told I give off the bitch vibe to guys and that's why men find me unapproachable. However for me it's more of a I'm not gonna fall for every man that says hi to me - you need to work for it a little bit. Why? Because I'm worth working for damn it. Which brings me to my other point; why is it that to guys fat=desperate? Because I'm heavy I must not be getting any action? I must be so full of low self esteem that I'll just latch onto anyone? Sorry to disappoint you but that's simply not true with this gal. Also, why is it perfectly acceptable for a thin woman to date an overweight man, but taboo for a thin man to date an overweight woman? Just the same way as it's ok for Hugh Hefner to date women 50 years younger than him, but if say Debbie Reynolds tried the same thing she'd be seen as a cougar or a cradle robber whereas Hugh is seen as a god for it. What people fail to stop and think is that I've found more women pay less attention to looks and age than men do. We look for things like - does he love his family? How does he treat his kids? Is he ambitious? Not damn he looks really hot in those 501s.
Now I'm not saying that physical attraction has nothing to do with finding a mate. Or that all men are shallow and all women are not. These are simply things I've observed and how I am in my life. I'm a very open person - most people have a "type" that they go for i.e. tall dark and handsome, blonde, brunette, etc. However through simply looking at the men I find attractive; my spectrum covers a wide range of "types". I'll give you a few examples of actors/entertainers I find attractive:Keanu Reeves, Shemar Moore, Justin Timberlake, Kevin James, Randy Travis, and current Mayor of Chicago Rahm Emmanuel. Now if you know any or all of these men you know none of the two are alike.
I guess what bothers me the most is the fact that noone tries anymore. Men think that all they have to do is ask for a girl's number and she'll sleep with him or a woman thinks that all she has to do is bat her eyelashes and a man should sleep with her or buy her whatever she wants. Lord help you if you're not sleeping together within the first month. I mean whatever happened to saying Hi how are you? Or bringing a woman flowers and expecting nothing in return? Or asking him how his day was? Holding hands? Call me old fashioned but these are the things that I look for. Right now I'm feeling defeated but I have to hold onto these ideals and think that there is someone out there that feels the same way I do.
So the next time you go to talk to someone - whether you're hitting on them or not why don't you just start with hello?
Recently I joined a dating site because well quite frankly life gets kind of lonely and I can be a shy person (shocking I know) so sometimes speaking over the internet is easier for me. Now that being said I can honestly say that we as a society have become dumber and dumber. Just going by some of the screennames that these people come up with? Pdidey? The1foru? Thickgallover? I mean really you couldn't come up with something halfway decent? Oh and sending someone a message that simply reads mmmmmmmmm does not make them want to contact you. Sadly though it's not just on the internet I've heard "Hey baby what's yo numba?" in person as well. Along with "mmmmm......I like my women thick" to which my sister kindly replied "Too bad I don't like my men stupid".
Unfortunately it's not just with guys either; a friend told me that recently she saw some guys use similar lines on her sister and sister in law and they giggled away and flirted back. Now often I've been told I give off the bitch vibe to guys and that's why men find me unapproachable. However for me it's more of a I'm not gonna fall for every man that says hi to me - you need to work for it a little bit. Why? Because I'm worth working for damn it. Which brings me to my other point; why is it that to guys fat=desperate? Because I'm heavy I must not be getting any action? I must be so full of low self esteem that I'll just latch onto anyone? Sorry to disappoint you but that's simply not true with this gal. Also, why is it perfectly acceptable for a thin woman to date an overweight man, but taboo for a thin man to date an overweight woman? Just the same way as it's ok for Hugh Hefner to date women 50 years younger than him, but if say Debbie Reynolds tried the same thing she'd be seen as a cougar or a cradle robber whereas Hugh is seen as a god for it. What people fail to stop and think is that I've found more women pay less attention to looks and age than men do. We look for things like - does he love his family? How does he treat his kids? Is he ambitious? Not damn he looks really hot in those 501s.
Now I'm not saying that physical attraction has nothing to do with finding a mate. Or that all men are shallow and all women are not. These are simply things I've observed and how I am in my life. I'm a very open person - most people have a "type" that they go for i.e. tall dark and handsome, blonde, brunette, etc. However through simply looking at the men I find attractive; my spectrum covers a wide range of "types". I'll give you a few examples of actors/entertainers I find attractive:Keanu Reeves, Shemar Moore, Justin Timberlake, Kevin James, Randy Travis, and current Mayor of Chicago Rahm Emmanuel. Now if you know any or all of these men you know none of the two are alike.
I guess what bothers me the most is the fact that noone tries anymore. Men think that all they have to do is ask for a girl's number and she'll sleep with him or a woman thinks that all she has to do is bat her eyelashes and a man should sleep with her or buy her whatever she wants. Lord help you if you're not sleeping together within the first month. I mean whatever happened to saying Hi how are you? Or bringing a woman flowers and expecting nothing in return? Or asking him how his day was? Holding hands? Call me old fashioned but these are the things that I look for. Right now I'm feeling defeated but I have to hold onto these ideals and think that there is someone out there that feels the same way I do.
So the next time you go to talk to someone - whether you're hitting on them or not why don't you just start with hello?
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