Parenting

Yes I'm back, I know I've been MIA lately and that my last blog was full of positives. I'm still on my weight loss journey, though it's come to a stand still lately because I've been sick and unable to stay upright. However that is neither here nor there. Today I want to talk about something that is very near and dear to my heart - parenting. Now we all have our own parenting techniques and things that work for us, but I want to talk about merely the basics.

Now having a child with a disability makes things a bit more challenging as far as I need to have the energy of a Jack Russell Terrier that's gotten into the case of Red Bull. Needless to say I do not always have this, and with being sick I've had it even less lately. However I will say that I try to be mentally available to my child. What do I mean by this? I mean that when my son asks me something I don't blow him off nor do I try to blow smoke up his ass. Yes he still believes in Santa and the Easter Bunny and the other fairy tales/stories/legends we've all grown up with. However he asked me one day why a boy who wasn't related to another boy couldn't get married. I was at first taken by surprise - he was 8 at the time; what 8 year old asks that? Mine that's who. Once I regained my composure I explained to him that some people didn't think it was right, but that you cannot help who you fall in love with. He was ok with this answer and we went on to discuss that it was ok for him to like whoever he wanted both now and later on in life.

After I thought about his situation for awhile, I realized that I am happy that my son is non judgmental and that he has the courage and confidence to ask ME these things believing that I will have the answer. Now do I have the answer to all of life's questions? Obviously not or else I'd be making a hella lotta money answering things for ppl LOL What it also made me realize that if I don't teach my kid these things - who will? I didn't want to dare think about that. As usual the more I thought about it the more I learned that I was not alone - there were other parents that were going through what I was going through. What scared me though was when I realized that I knew parents that either didn't see what they were doing to their kids or they did and just didn't care.

What I mean by doing to their kids is not physical abuse, but they were neglecting their children's minds and feelings. Example; my son knows that he is not allowed to play video games that carry an M rating and that I need to approve the T rated games. Therefore he doesn't play them - how do I know? Because my son talks to me; we've been at others peoples houses and he'll come out of the room where all the kids are playing and if I ask why he's not playing with the other kids he'll say "They're playing games I'm not allowed to". Even if he's been at a friends house he will say "They were playing such and such a game, but I didn't play" again - how do I know he's telling the truth? He'll follow that up by saying "I watched them play a few minutes Mom I'm sorry I know I'm not supposed to". It's the same way with movies and their ratings; however I know someone who doesn't let their child play violent video games, but in the same breath doesn't mind if the child is in the room for an R rated movie!

I am by NO means saying that I am the perfect parent, but what I am saying is that you need to PARENT. I don't care if your child calls you every name in the book - there are very few I HAVEN'T been called, but in the end I don't care because I know that it's better for my child. I saw a news special just tonight on children and the parents that spy on them. They were talking to a dad that was part of a website that helped monitor his 13 year olds internet activity. Cut to said 13 year old sitting on her bed with a lap top open and typing away with the only light coming from the screen. Now I ask you - what 13 year old needs a laptop? Now some may say that it's a space saver thing, whatever fine but then why was she not required to use it in a family room or dining room? Wake up people internet, video games, movies, etc etc are not to blame for things that your child does - YOU are. Who let them watch the violent movie? Who let them log onto that website. Now am I saying that every media outlet shouldn't be held accountable for some of the stuff they air? NO, but how about taking your share of the responsibility?

It's not just media stuff either; I've seen parents chastize their child for doing something wrong when in fact the child was tired of being ignored for 4 hours and simply wanted their attention. What people don't get is that pleasing kids for the most part is fairly easy; most of the time what they really want is just for someone to listen. Most of the time we forget that they are not just kids, but human beings with thoughts and opinions and questions. They want someone to listen to them, ask them what THEY think how THEY feel. They WANT boundries, and for someone to care enough to wonder where the HELL they've been. They might not like it at the time, but they always come to realize that it's in their best interest. I guess what I'm trying to get at here is if you're gonna be a parent BE a parent - your kids have enough friends.