Ok so here we are almost one month into the whole let's get serious and get healthy thing started and I must admit I'm still doin it! Now do I want to get up everyday and do it? There are some days (like those once a month visits for us ladies) that I want to shoot the next person who mentions working out. However I've also learned that I am LOVING the energy that working out gives me and really the peace of mind it gives me. There were a couple days when I simply could not get a workout in and you know what? I actually missed it! No that's not a typo I said I missed it. It makes me feel centered and gives me a sense of accomplishment. Also because I have "outted" myself so to speak to all of you I feel a sense of obligation to keep going - of course your words of encouragement are always motivation to keep going.
Believe it or not I actually started a zumba class yesterday - I sweated my ass off, but I did not die! WOOHOO! I also am walking along with doing the Just Dance for wii - I am actually now able to walk 2 miles with almost no problem. This activity is what I find the most stress relieving - I stick my earbuds in, put some good music on and just start walking. My mind clears and I just listen to the music - lately it's been a lot of Christian Kane that keeps me company as I walk. What I like about his music is that it's real - meaning he has written many of his own songs and they talk about everyday things. Thrown in the mix with the country is come good ol' rockin roll - check him out on youtube when you can. Anyway - back to me lol I just walk and think and by the time I realize it 45 minutes have gone by and the endorphins are flowing. So despite what the scale may say tomorrow ( I was down 5.5lbs last week) I know that I am on my way to being a healthier me. Thank you all for accompanying me on this journey!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Here We Go Again
Ok so Paula Deen has diabetes - WHO CARES? I know I've talked repeatedly about how we need to take responsibility for ourselves, but this week just really irked me. This woman has said time and time again that I'm your cook not your dr not your nurse. Yes her meals are high in fat, cholesterol, and all the things that usually make food good; but is she standing over you threatening you if you don't eat it? NO
There are a lot of things I can blame my fat on - my ex is a douche, my mom had cancer, my son has learning disabilities. However noone was holding a gun to my head as I shoved cheeseburger after cheeseburger in my mouth. I'm fat because I've used food as a coping mechanism - I did that; noone else.
Yes we all need to learn that we need to eat in moderation - but it's our responsibility to do that, not a television cook's job. She obviously needs to learn that and I hope that she is able to get herself healthier because diabetes sucks. Now knock on wood, I am not a diabetic and don't intend to become one, however I have a lot of ppl in my life that are and I know that it sucks for them. So Anthony Bourdain and all you other nay sayers BACK OFF! While she may not be the picture of perfection when it comes to health, she is an example to single moms like me - she made a herself a success out of nothing while raising two kids. She's also human being who's going to have a tough road ahead of her; she not only has diabetes but is also trying to quit smoking. Now I'm not saying that she's perfect, etc but I'm so SICK of people blaming others for what is THEIR responisbility. Maybe I should look into suing McDonalds for making me fat - I could use the money!
There are a lot of things I can blame my fat on - my ex is a douche, my mom had cancer, my son has learning disabilities. However noone was holding a gun to my head as I shoved cheeseburger after cheeseburger in my mouth. I'm fat because I've used food as a coping mechanism - I did that; noone else.
Yes we all need to learn that we need to eat in moderation - but it's our responsibility to do that, not a television cook's job. She obviously needs to learn that and I hope that she is able to get herself healthier because diabetes sucks. Now knock on wood, I am not a diabetic and don't intend to become one, however I have a lot of ppl in my life that are and I know that it sucks for them. So Anthony Bourdain and all you other nay sayers BACK OFF! While she may not be the picture of perfection when it comes to health, she is an example to single moms like me - she made a herself a success out of nothing while raising two kids. She's also human being who's going to have a tough road ahead of her; she not only has diabetes but is also trying to quit smoking. Now I'm not saying that she's perfect, etc but I'm so SICK of people blaming others for what is THEIR responisbility. Maybe I should look into suing McDonalds for making me fat - I could use the money!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Finding the right one for you
Sitting in the drs office the other day I was nervous as hell - I have ALWAYS hated going to the dr; 90% of the time because I know the dr is going to say well you need to lose some weight. Really as I hadn't thought of that as I ended up winded just tying my shoes LOL However this time after switching and switching I think I finally hit the jackpot with drs. Now that's not to say that she didn't address my weight but she wasn't condescending about it either. I think what I liked the most though is how much time she spent with me; first I saw her med student who spent a good half hour with me. At first I thought she was merely trying to cover her ass, but really I think this woman is going to make a great dr some day. I was at the dr not only for my blood pressure, but I had also wanted to talk to her about anti depressants/anti anxiety meds as I've had a lot going on in my life as of late plus out of all the things I could have inherited from him I inherited my dad's panic attacks (thanks dad!) and this is not just oh shit type of stress; this is I took myself to the ER once because I thought I was having a heart attack stress. Anyway I digress; as I sat there and started to tell my story and it became real and verbalized I began to cry and of course was terribly embarrassed. However this intern looked at me and said this is not uncommon - you've had ALOT of stressors in your life lately. She didn't look at me like any minute I was going to slit my wrists like I once had another dr look at me.
Next came my dr who went over everything with the med student and told me to let her know if she'd missed anything. Then they took everything point by point and set up a plan for me - I finally had a health plan! When I mentioned that I had put on about 10lbs since I'd been there last she was like "eh we'll blame in on the holidays" now that's not to say she wasn't concerned but she knows that weight is an issue that everyone struggles with. We went over what my exercise regiment was and told me so long as I worked out 30 minutes, 5 days a week that was good. I was relieved; this is something I could do - hell it was one half hour sitcom! We went over some of my other ailments and what I was to do about those and then because my bloodpressure is not quite where she wants it (though it was better than last time) we went over possible causes. My biggest fear was that she was going to up the meds, which I didn't want because I'm already on a host of meds. However she told me she was going to keep me on the same dose and so long as I kept up my diet and exercise that we'd take it from there. She asked if there was any questions I had about anything and that was that. I left there more elated than I have in a very long time of going to the dr. Now I have a friend that went to the dr recently and didn't have quite the same experience but at the end of the day it was something that worked for her - at least for now. I guess my point here is that in order to succeed with your health not only do you have to take an active role in your own medical conditions ( I had a lot of my own info that she was impressed with) but find a dr that works for YOU because if you're not comfortable talking with your own dr then it makes the road to health/weightloss that much more difficult and we all know that that road is already filled with potholes and road closures that we have to try and avoid. Take your time to do some research and don't be afraid to ask questions - afterall they work for YOU; consider yourselves their boss and if they're not doing their job - fire them and find a new one!
Next came my dr who went over everything with the med student and told me to let her know if she'd missed anything. Then they took everything point by point and set up a plan for me - I finally had a health plan! When I mentioned that I had put on about 10lbs since I'd been there last she was like "eh we'll blame in on the holidays" now that's not to say she wasn't concerned but she knows that weight is an issue that everyone struggles with. We went over what my exercise regiment was and told me so long as I worked out 30 minutes, 5 days a week that was good. I was relieved; this is something I could do - hell it was one half hour sitcom! We went over some of my other ailments and what I was to do about those and then because my bloodpressure is not quite where she wants it (though it was better than last time) we went over possible causes. My biggest fear was that she was going to up the meds, which I didn't want because I'm already on a host of meds. However she told me she was going to keep me on the same dose and so long as I kept up my diet and exercise that we'd take it from there. She asked if there was any questions I had about anything and that was that. I left there more elated than I have in a very long time of going to the dr. Now I have a friend that went to the dr recently and didn't have quite the same experience but at the end of the day it was something that worked for her - at least for now. I guess my point here is that in order to succeed with your health not only do you have to take an active role in your own medical conditions ( I had a lot of my own info that she was impressed with) but find a dr that works for YOU because if you're not comfortable talking with your own dr then it makes the road to health/weightloss that much more difficult and we all know that that road is already filled with potholes and road closures that we have to try and avoid. Take your time to do some research and don't be afraid to ask questions - afterall they work for YOU; consider yourselves their boss and if they're not doing their job - fire them and find a new one!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Not a Resolution
Well I started this blog with the intentions of blogging everyday, but alas that has not happened. However I think averaging once a month is pretty good;anywho time to get on with it.
I hope that all of you had a wonderful holiday season, mine was good if a bit normal - then again normal can be good. Now that the holidays are over, how many of you have made a New Year's Resolution? Most of us make them and don't keep them - hell if I'd kept half of mine I'd be a size 2 and living in a small town, running a bakery! So this year I've decided not to make a resolution, rather I've decided to make my life over. That doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the life that I have, just that I need to learn to live it differently. Now when I was growing up different usually meant bad; example:"Mom, how does this shirt look?" "Well it's.........different" but for me different is going to be a good thing! It means losing not just the weight that's been plaguing me my whole life, but letting all the anger and all the negativity in my life go as well. It means living my life for ME not for anyone else; taking care of ME because if I can't take care of myself - I'm of no use to anyone else.
So far I've started with working out - which right now consists of playing the wii; that's right the anti video gamer is using it to get healthy. My favorite is doing Taio Cruz's Dynamite with my son because we both love the song, and then there's the frisbee golf, which I hate but play because again my son loves it. I've also began changing my eating habits - I've (for the most part) given up iced tea, which for those of you that know me know that that is a feat in itself because iced tea was very addictive for me. I also managed to put back mint Oreos - another small, but amazing act because I both love them and they were cheap. The biggest however was when I went to Wendy's (Yeah I haven't given up fast food YET) and I did NOT order a frosty; this was HUGE for me because I love it with all it's chocolatey goodness BUT I decided I did not NEED it. Did I want it? I don't know does a monkey want a banana? HELL YEAH I wanted it but again victory reigned supreme!
I think the thing that's made this year different is that I've watched a friend have much success, not only in losing weight, but shedding the layers of crap and discovering who she really is. The two of us were two of a kind - so much so that ppl at work used to think we were sisters; we were the two fat chicks - and for a long time we were ok with it. Then both of us decided that we really needed to lose weight, but that there was nothing out there for chicks like us. Over tired moms with kids with disabilities who at the end of the day just wanted to take some comfort in some delicious confections. So we decided we should start something ourselves - I started this blog to help with some of the stress and she took the proverbial bull by the horns and ran with it. She has an amazing website and blog http://livingdaily.weebly.com/ where she encourages people everyday and lets them know that they CAN do it. Yes some of her positivity makes me want to shove it down her throat, but at the end of the day I know she's right. Through her journey she's shed more than 80lbs and even more - discovered more of who she is. More importantly she once told me something that is a constant reminder to me "You can't fail unless you stop trying" so if I have that frosty or minty oreo I don't go "Oh well I give up I'll always be fat" I just think "Well tomorrow is another day for me to do better". She's also told me in not so many words "I didn't say it was going to be easy; I said it'd be worth it". To you Katy I say a huge THANK YOU!
Now I'm about to share with something I've never shared with ANYONE - except my Dr. I'm nervous, but I know it will help me stay focused and it will help me shed some of the crap I've been holding onto. I am about to share my weight with you and the rest of the world; a year ago I hit the scale at 360lbs. Since then I've lost some weight and last I checked(which has been awhile) I was at 330/335. These are numbers I NEVER want to see again, but I'm doing it a little at a time. Right now the goal is to wake up tomorrow and move. The long term goal is to one day be able to do a 5K run or something to that effect.
I guess my message here is live life for YOU; and I don't mean go out and be a selfish prick but make sure that the decisions you make in your life are about what YOU want and what's good for YOU. Don't make decisions based on anything anyone else does or says. You can succeed if only you give yourself the chance to.
I hope that all of you had a wonderful holiday season, mine was good if a bit normal - then again normal can be good. Now that the holidays are over, how many of you have made a New Year's Resolution? Most of us make them and don't keep them - hell if I'd kept half of mine I'd be a size 2 and living in a small town, running a bakery! So this year I've decided not to make a resolution, rather I've decided to make my life over. That doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the life that I have, just that I need to learn to live it differently. Now when I was growing up different usually meant bad; example:"Mom, how does this shirt look?" "Well it's.........different" but for me different is going to be a good thing! It means losing not just the weight that's been plaguing me my whole life, but letting all the anger and all the negativity in my life go as well. It means living my life for ME not for anyone else; taking care of ME because if I can't take care of myself - I'm of no use to anyone else.
So far I've started with working out - which right now consists of playing the wii; that's right the anti video gamer is using it to get healthy. My favorite is doing Taio Cruz's Dynamite with my son because we both love the song, and then there's the frisbee golf, which I hate but play because again my son loves it. I've also began changing my eating habits - I've (for the most part) given up iced tea, which for those of you that know me know that that is a feat in itself because iced tea was very addictive for me. I also managed to put back mint Oreos - another small, but amazing act because I both love them and they were cheap. The biggest however was when I went to Wendy's (Yeah I haven't given up fast food YET) and I did NOT order a frosty; this was HUGE for me because I love it with all it's chocolatey goodness BUT I decided I did not NEED it. Did I want it? I don't know does a monkey want a banana? HELL YEAH I wanted it but again victory reigned supreme!
I think the thing that's made this year different is that I've watched a friend have much success, not only in losing weight, but shedding the layers of crap and discovering who she really is. The two of us were two of a kind - so much so that ppl at work used to think we were sisters; we were the two fat chicks - and for a long time we were ok with it. Then both of us decided that we really needed to lose weight, but that there was nothing out there for chicks like us. Over tired moms with kids with disabilities who at the end of the day just wanted to take some comfort in some delicious confections. So we decided we should start something ourselves - I started this blog to help with some of the stress and she took the proverbial bull by the horns and ran with it. She has an amazing website and blog http://livingdaily.weebly.com/ where she encourages people everyday and lets them know that they CAN do it. Yes some of her positivity makes me want to shove it down her throat, but at the end of the day I know she's right. Through her journey she's shed more than 80lbs and even more - discovered more of who she is. More importantly she once told me something that is a constant reminder to me "You can't fail unless you stop trying" so if I have that frosty or minty oreo I don't go "Oh well I give up I'll always be fat" I just think "Well tomorrow is another day for me to do better". She's also told me in not so many words "I didn't say it was going to be easy; I said it'd be worth it". To you Katy I say a huge THANK YOU!
Now I'm about to share with something I've never shared with ANYONE - except my Dr. I'm nervous, but I know it will help me stay focused and it will help me shed some of the crap I've been holding onto. I am about to share my weight with you and the rest of the world; a year ago I hit the scale at 360lbs. Since then I've lost some weight and last I checked(which has been awhile) I was at 330/335. These are numbers I NEVER want to see again, but I'm doing it a little at a time. Right now the goal is to wake up tomorrow and move. The long term goal is to one day be able to do a 5K run or something to that effect.
I guess my message here is live life for YOU; and I don't mean go out and be a selfish prick but make sure that the decisions you make in your life are about what YOU want and what's good for YOU. Don't make decisions based on anything anyone else does or says. You can succeed if only you give yourself the chance to.
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