Not a Resolution

Well I started this blog with the intentions of blogging everyday, but alas that has not happened. However I think averaging once a month is pretty good;anywho time to get on with it.
I hope that all of you had a wonderful holiday season, mine was good if a bit normal - then again normal can be good. Now that the holidays are over, how many of you have made a New Year's Resolution? Most of us make them and don't keep them - hell if I'd kept half of mine I'd be a size 2 and living in a small town, running a bakery! So this year I've decided not to make a resolution, rather I've decided to make my life over. That doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the life that I have, just that I need to learn to live it differently. Now when I was growing up different usually meant bad; example:"Mom, how does this shirt look?" "Well it's.........different" but for me different is going to be a good thing! It means losing not just the weight that's been plaguing me my whole life, but letting all the anger and all the negativity in my life go as well. It means living my life for ME not for anyone else; taking care of ME because if I can't take care of myself - I'm of no use to anyone else.
So far I've started with working out - which right now consists of playing the wii; that's right the anti video gamer is using it to get healthy. My favorite is doing Taio Cruz's Dynamite with my son because we both love the song, and then there's the frisbee golf, which I hate but play because again my son loves it. I've also began changing my eating habits - I've (for the most part) given up iced tea, which for those of you that know me know that that is a feat in itself because iced tea was very addictive for me. I also managed to put back mint Oreos - another small, but amazing act because I both love them and they were cheap. The biggest however was when I went to Wendy's (Yeah I haven't given up fast food YET) and I did NOT order a frosty; this was HUGE for me because I love it with all it's chocolatey goodness BUT I decided I did not NEED it. Did I want it? I don't know does a monkey want a banana? HELL YEAH I wanted it but again victory reigned supreme!
I think the thing that's made this year different is that I've watched a friend have much success, not only in losing weight, but shedding the layers of crap and discovering who she really is. The two of us were two of a kind - so much so that ppl at work used to think we were sisters; we were the two fat chicks - and for a long time we were ok with it. Then both of us decided that we really needed to lose weight, but that there was nothing out there for chicks like us. Over tired moms with kids with disabilities who at the end of the day just wanted to take some comfort in some delicious confections. So we decided we should start something ourselves - I started this blog to help with some of the stress and she took the proverbial bull by the horns and ran with it. She has an amazing website and blog http://livingdaily.weebly.com/ where she encourages people everyday and lets them know that they CAN do it. Yes some of her positivity makes me want to shove it down her throat, but at the end of the day I know she's right. Through her journey she's shed more than 80lbs and even more - discovered more of who she is. More importantly she once told me something that is a constant reminder to me "You can't fail unless you stop trying" so if I have that frosty or minty oreo I don't go "Oh well I give up I'll always be fat" I just think "Well tomorrow is another day for me to do better". She's also told me in not so many words "I didn't say it was going to be easy; I said it'd be worth it". To you Katy I say a huge THANK YOU!
Now I'm about to share with something I've never shared with ANYONE - except my Dr. I'm nervous, but I know it will help me stay focused and it will help me shed some of the crap I've been holding onto. I am about to share my weight with you and the rest of the world; a year ago I hit the scale at 360lbs. Since then I've lost some weight and last I checked(which has been awhile) I was at 330/335. These are numbers I NEVER want to see again, but I'm doing it a little at a time. Right now the goal is to wake up tomorrow and move. The long term goal is to one day be able to do a 5K run or something to that effect.
I guess my message here is live life for YOU; and I don't mean go out and be a selfish prick but make sure that the decisions you make in your life are about what YOU want and what's good for YOU. Don't make decisions based on anything anyone else does or says. You can succeed if only you give yourself the chance to.