Random Things

Today is going to seem random, but I find that life itself is often a roller coaster ride of random events. How to begin; well I will say that my test results did reveal an infection for which I have meds (thank you GOD) and the dr I saw actually LISTENED to me when I told her about needing something to get me through the day to day. She not only gave me an antidepressant, but some anti anxiety for severe attacks. Now I'm not saying all my problems are going to be fixed with these pills, but it will make the world seem not so scary and overwhelming. Also in talking to my brother I am again not the only one; he told me that he too has had to talk himself down off an anxiety attack. We figure it must be hereditary as our father used to have REALLY bad attacks. All I can say is I've been his sister for 32 years, but there are still things I learn about not only my brother, but all my siblings everyday

Ah my siblings; we are as different as the stars in the sky. Sometimes so much that I find it hard to believe that all five of us came from the same two parents. However I have found that I connect with each of them on some level. With my oldest sister it's our liberal view of things and our ability to accept and appreciate others for their individuality. With my other sister it's the mom thing; we constantly rely on each other for advice and tips and well just a sounding board. With my younger brother it's well being the youngest two - we are only 2 years apart and our next oldest sibling is almost 5 years older than me so really it was always the two of us hanging out together or getting shoved in a stroller together when we were younger. Last but not least there is my older brother; I have found it hardest to make a connection with him. I think this stems from the fact that A. He's very much like our paternal grandfather who was not very social and B. He was in the Marine Corps and has learned to be closed off. Recently though I've had many conversations with him and have learned that we're more alike than I thought(i.e. anxiety attacks). But no matter how different we all are there's only one thing that matters: When push comes to shove we are THERE for each other.

I can honestly say that I don't know what I'd do without my family. Don't get me wrong, we are by NO means the Partridge Family, but when I went through my break up with my ex; they were there. When my son hurt himself and had to have surgery; they were there. When I lost my job, once again they were there reminding me that I was better off. They may piss me off, make me cry, drive me crazy, but they also dry those tears, make me laugh, and pick up the pieces when I feel like life has broken me. They are knuckleheads, but they are MY knuckleheads.

The same goes for my nephews and my son ("The Boys" as I like to call them collectively). They are all different, but they're family. There's the 12 year old (The aristocrat), who's really going on 40 with an old soul most of the time, but is secretly still a 12 year old worried about fitting in with his classmates. He may think he's a tough guy, but he's also the only one with enough patience to teach my son to ride his bike. Then there's his partner in crime and cousin my 11 year old nephew(The Academic). He is the quietly mature one - MOST of the time. He loves to read and is curious about everything; so much so that he's always asking questions and sometimes teaches me a thing or two. Next is my son who is 9(The Class Clown) who just loves to make everyone laugh. He drives them insane with his level of energy and constant talking, but at the end of the day everyone laughs and knows that's just him being himself and they wouldn't change it. Last, but certainly not least is the 7 year old (The Enforcer) who is a very sweet, sensitive kid, but will have no problem knocking your block off if it's warranted. We think he'll be the biggest out of all of them and will spend most of his time defending the sarcasm of his brother and cousins. Again they don't always get along, but they are THERE for each other. Whether it's defending each other against other kids, or merely helping to solve a video game crisis.

It warms my heart when I see the four of them playing together because it reminds me of my own siblings and how far we've come. It also makes me think that no matter how bad we think we are, you can look at the four of them and know that we did ok. Because we've all had an impact on them and their futures whether it be as parents or aunts and uncles and after seeing the four of them together I know the future is bright.

I know my family drives me crazy, but then I stop and think about the people that have noone in their lives. I can't even imagine what my life would have been like had it not been for my family. I guess what I'm trying to say is appreciate the family that you have because you never know when someone else is wishing that they had that very same thing.