Responsibility

We all have our responsibilities: Pay the bills, take the kids to school, meetings at work. However that is not the responsibility I'm talking about here; I'm refering to responsibility for yourself and your actions.

Recently I had a phone call from someone basically blaming me for every bad thing in his life. It was my fault he'd avoided his financial obligations, my fault his girlfriend was pissed off, my fault his boss was a dick, etc, etc  - you get the picture. What this person didn't understand is that we all make our own decisions; we decide what to do, what not to do, what's right and what's wrong. It seems like lately everyone wants to lay their problems at everyone else's doorstep; take the case against McDonalds - I'm sure you all remember the old lady that sued them and won because OMG they gave her HOT coffee! Really? I'm sorry last I checked when you ordered coffee it came hot - unless you specified iced coffee. It would be like me blaming them for me being fat - noone held a gun to my head to drive there and order a double quarter pounder with cheese meal now did they?

Yes I understand there are somethings in our lives that we can't control and even then there's really noone to blame. Example: Many of you know that my son broke his elbow two years ago - severely enough that he had to have it surgically put back together. How this happened was a complete freak accident; we were at my sister's house and the kids were going outside to play when her dog (who is about 50 lbs and rather strong) was so happy to see them that she knocked my son over and he fell hitting his arm just right. Yes it was a nightmare and the most scared I think I've ever been in my life, but did I go back and tell my sister that she had to take a gun to her dog ala Old Yeller? NO I don't blame Mavis (the dog) for what happened to my son nor do I blame my sister - who btw was completely devistated.

What we can control though is how we deal with things; face them head on, hide and pretend they don't exist, or we can take the chicken's way out and blame others. Now I know we're all guilty of the last two - for a long time I blamed my weight on the stress in my life. Now yes my life is very stressful at times, but it was MY decision to eat the bad food and not exercise. I also am very good at pretending that my mounting bills don't exist sometimes too. Lately though I've started to make a change; I'm getting healthier by making the choice to walk almost everyday and eat better food. I'm trying to keep up on my financial obligations; I'm choosing to face my problems head on.

My biggest reason for this is not only to be healthier and be a better person, but I want to be a good example for my son. He already deals with ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) and already tries to blame others for when he gets into trouble. So I'm hoping that not only with therapy, but by seeing a good example he'll learn to take responsibility for himself and eventually live a happy, healthy life.

So if you're facing your problems head on - kudos! However if you're choosing to hide and pretend they don't exist, or worse you're blaming others for your failings; stop and take a look in the mirror. The reflection staring back at you is the only person you can blame for how your life is going. The good thing is that same reflection is the only one that has the power to change it.